The Impossibly Perfect Woman

The Impossibly Perfect Woman

“The Impossibly Perfect Woman”

(Proverbs 31:10-31)

Mother’s Day

Rev. Todd A. Linn, PhD

First Baptist Henderson, KY

(5-10-09) (AM)

 

  • Take your Bibles and open to Proverbs, chapter 31.

 

Proverbs is somewhere in the middle of your Bible, right after the Book of Psalms.  When you find Proverbs go to the last chapter, chapter 31.  We’re turning to Proverbs 31 this morning because it is Mother’s Day and we want to study a passage that speaks to us about a godly woman.

 

We studied this passage once before about five years ago, but we’re going to look at it this morning in a completely different way.  Here’s what I mean: Most of the time when we read about what we often call the “Proverbs 31 woman,” most women find themselves wincing if not cringing a bit because we read of this woman who seems impossibly perfect.  And I want to suggest to you that she is impossibly perfect.  This woman really doesn’t exist.  She is the ideal.  She is the goal.  But she isn’t real, okay?

 

It helps us to know that this section of Scripture is a beautiful poem.  In fact, if we all knew and read Hebrew we could read and see that these verses—verses 10 through 31—are written in an acrostic.  You know what an acrostic is.  It’s when the letter of a word stands for something else.  For example, I have often said that “Faith, f-a-i-t-h, stands for forsaking all I take Him” or Grace, g-r-a-c-e, stands for God’s riches at Christ’s expense.”  That’s an acrostic.  In verses 10-31 we have an acrostic of the Hebrew alphabet.  Verse 10-31 are a poetic acrostic beginning with the first letter of the Hebrew alphabet in verse 10 and finishing with the last letter of the Hebrew alphabet in verse 31.

 

So this is a poem.  It is not a historical narrative about some real woman.  It is a beautiful poem about an ideal woman.  The writer poetically describes her one verse at a time, using successive letters of the Hebrew alphabet, sort of like stringing a bunch of pearls together, one after another after another.

 

I hope that puts most of us at ease so we don’t read this poem and say to ourselves, “I’ll never be anything like this person!”  It’s almost like that’s why the writer begins as he does in verse 10.  Look at it.  He asks, “Who can find a virtuous wife?”  It’s like he’s saying, “You know anyone who sounds anything like this woman I’m getting ready to describe?!”

 

At the same time, however, I also believe that this “impossibly perfect woman” described here gives us something for which to aim.  There are wonderful virtues here that apply not just to mothers, but to all women and not just to all women, but to all men, to all young adults and to all children.  There is truly something here for everyone.   And so I want us to see this morning some lessons we can learn—as imperfect people—lessons imperfect people can learn from the impossibly perfect woman.

 

  • Let’s pray and ask God’s blessing upon our study.

 

Introduction:

 

Proverbs is a great book for families to read together.  The book opens with a godly husband and father wisely counseling his son and ends here with a man praising the Lord for a godly wife and mother.  It’s a great book for families to read together, a chapter a day so as to read through the book in a month.  I hope you fathers will try that out, taking about 5 minutes a day to read aloud a chapter each day to your wife and children and watch how God honors that.

 

Now before we look at these lessons I’d like for you to look at what I would call the “key verse” to the entire passage.  The reason this woman is worthy of our consideration is because of verse 30.  Look down there at verse 30.  It says, “Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing, but a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised.”  Who shall be praised?  A woman who fears the Lord.  Let’s say that together: “A woman who fears the Lord.”  Nothing else really matters much about this woman unless she fears the Lord.

 

Ladies, let me say to you that there is nothing more important than that you fear the Lord.  Men, it’s the same for you and I.  The key to Christian living is to fear the Lord.  It means to live for the Lord, to love the Lord, to worship the Lord, to draw close to the Lord.  We can never be the kinds of people God wants us to be if we don’t get that right.  So let’s read about this woman’s many virtues in light of the chief virtue of all: fear of the Lord.

 

I want to read through these 22 verses, verses 10-31, and lift some lessons here for our consideration, some lessons we as imperfect people can learn from the perfect woman.  Because this passage is a poem it doesn’t divide evenly into a chronological outline, but I do want us to consider at least three main virtues.  First, let’s:

 

I.  Consider her Dedication (10-12, 21, 23, 27-29)

 

And by dedication I mean for us to consider her dedication to her family.  She is dedicated to her family.  These verses in parenthesis guide us to those verses describing her faithful devotion and dedication to her loved ones.  First, we see her dedication to her husband.

 

10 Who can find a virtuous (honorable in all forms of excellence) wife? For her worth is far above rubies.

11 The heart of her husband safely trusts her; So he will have no lack of gain.

12 She does him good and not evil All the days of her life.

 

Verse 11 says, “The heart of her husband safely trusts her.”  The word “trust” there is the same word Solomon uses in Proverbs 3:5 where he says, “trust in the Lord with all your heart.”  Think about that.  That means that just as we can trust God, trusting in his goodness, dependability, and faithfulness, so can the husband trust the heart of a virtuous woman.  She will be faithful to him.  She is dedicated to him.  He does not worry about her running around on him and she does not worry about his running around on her.

 

When God brings a man and woman together in marriage, husband and wife pledge their lives to one another.  They pledge their fidelity to one another.  They are wholly dedicated to one another.  Be faithful, husbands and wives, to one another—faithful in thought, word, and action.

 

Now look down towards the end of this passage, stopping first at verse 21, where we read of the virtuous woman’s dedication to her entire household:

 

21 She is not afraid of snow for her household, For all her household is clothed with scarlet.

 

Here is one of several references to this woman’s industrious nature.  She is no slacker.  She sees that her husband and children are properly clothed.  By the way men, where would we be without our wives?  Thank God that she asks us when we get ready to walk out the door, “Are you wearing that shirt?”  She saves us from so much embarrassment!  Look down at verse 23:

 

23 Her husband is known in the gates, When he sits among the elders of the land.

 

Here is a reference to one way in which the virtuous woman positively affects her husband.  Because the wife is a woman of virtue, her husband is respected.  That’s what this verse means when it references “the gates.”  In the ancient near east, the leaders of the city gathered together at the gates of the city.  The writer here is implying that this man is the man he is because he is married to a godly woman.

 

It is true that, “some women make a fool out of a man, but many a godly woman has made a man out of a fool”  Read again at her dedication to her family in verses 27 and following:

 

27 She watches over the ways of her household, And does not eat the bread of idleness.

28 Her children rise up and call her blessed; Her husband also, and he praises her:

29 “Many daughters (or women) have done well, But you excel them all.”

 

Husbands, learn from these verses!  “Her husband praises her, ‘Many women have done well, but you excel them all.”  Men, how often do you verbally praise your wife?  How frequently does she hear you say, “I love you.  I am grateful for you.  Thank you for the way you care for the children.  Thank you for all you do around this house.”  Praise her and praise her publicly where others will hear.  That builds her up and blesses your marriage.

 

Dedication to one’s family is a virtue that every single one of us can embrace.  I want to lead you in resolving to be faithful to your family.  Here’s the resolution.  Write this down:

 

“I resolve to be faithful to my family and to bless them with my devotion.”

 

Now let’s say it together:

 

“I resolve to be faithful to my family and to bless them with my devotion.”

 

So we have considered the virtuous woman’s dedication.  Secondly:

 

II.  Consider her Diligence (13-20, 22, 24-26, 31)

 

Earlier we noted that this virtuous woman is industrious.  She’s no slacker!  She uses her talents and abilities consistently for God’s glory.  Look at verses 13 and following:

 

13 She seeks wool and flax, And willingly works with her hands.

14 She is like the merchant ships, She brings her food from afar.

15 She also rises while it is yet night, And provides food for her household, And a portion for her maidservants.

16 She considers a field and buys it; From her profits she plants a vineyard.

17 She girds herself with strength, And strengthens her arms.

18 She perceives that her merchandise is good, And her lamp does not go out by night.

19 She stretches out her hands to the distaff, And her hand holds the spindle (NLT, “Her hands are busy spinning thread, her fingers twisting fiber”).

20 She extends her hand to the poor, Yes, she reaches out her hands to the needy.

 

This woman uses her God-given talents and abilities consistently for God’s glory.  She works tirelessly, busily, working with her hands and her mind, making clothing, purchasing real estate, providing food for her house.

 

Now she doesn’t do this to the neglect of her children.  She cares for her children.  She does not pass them off to someone else, exchanging the blessing of motherhood for a self-centered career, but balances her time in such a way that she is there for her children and cares for her children, all the while using her God-given gifts and abilities for His glory.

 

And did you catch her generosity also there in verse 20?  “She extends her hand to the poor, yes, she reaches out her hands to the needy.”  The virtuous woman uses her talents and abilities to bless not only her family, but to bless all who are in need.  And she provides for herself, verse 22:

 

22 She makes tapestry for herself; Her clothing is fine linen and purple.

 

She really is quite the homemaker, isn’t she?  Look at verses 24 and following:

 

24 She makes linen garments and sells them, And supplies sashes for the merchants.

25 Strength and honor are her clothing; She shall rejoice in time to come.

 

Now I really like that last part, “She shall rejoice in time to come.”  Other translations have, “She smiles at the future (NASB),” or, “She can laugh at the days to come (NIV).”  This woman has no fear of the future.  Why?  Because she fears the Lord and uses her gifts and talents for His glory.  How many people do you know who can smile at the future?  I’m afraid far too many professing Christians are filled with worry and anxiety about the future.  Here’s a woman who fears the Lord and diligently uses her time, treasure, and talents for His glory so she fears nothing!

 

And so, she is someone whose counsel you seek, verse 26:

 

26 She opens her mouth with wisdom, And on her tongue is the law of kindness.

 

She opens her mouth with wisdom.  I had a friend who used to say the only time he opened his mouth was to change feet.  He was always regretting what he had said.  The virtuous woman opens her mouth with wisdom.  Every time she spoke, it was a wise word of counsel.  Let that be a lesson for all of us.  Giving good wise counsel is far more important than telling people what they want to hear.  Sometimes the truth hurts, but told in love in will go far.

 

And look again at the last part of verse 26, “And on her tongue is the law of kindness.”  Be known as one on whose tongue is the law of kindness.  That is, use words to build people up, not to tear them down.

 

We are left with the sound of this woman’s diligence ringing in our ears as the last verse says:

 

31 Give her of the fruit of her hands, And let her own works praise her in the gates.

 

See what we can learn from her?  She diligently uses her talents and abilities consistently for God’s glory.  She is not lazy.  She does not depend on others to do everything.  She uses her talents for God’s glory.

 

Mothers, wives, women, husbands, fathers, men, boys and girls, every single one of us should use our talents and abilities consistently for God’s glory.  If God has blessed you with an ability, then use that ability for His glory.  If God has blessed you with the ability to build things, build things for His glory.  If God has blessed you with an ability to draw or design, then draw and design for His glory.  If God has blessed you with an ability to knit and sew, then sew and knit for His glory.  If God has blessed you with an ability to cook, then cook for His glory.  If God has blessed you with an ability to work on computers, then work on computers for His glory.  If God has blessed you with an ability to play baseball, then play baseball for His glory.  If God has blessed you with the ability to pray for others, to talk to others, to encourage others—whatever you do, do all for the glory of God!

 

So here’s the resolution every single one of us can make, no matter our age or ability.  Write it down:

 

“I resolve to use my talents and abilities consistently for God’s glory.”

 

We talked about this yesterday in our BodyLife workshop for new members.  God wants us to use our talents and abilities through the church for His glory.  Now let’s say it together:

 

“I resolve to use my talents and abilities consistently for God’s glory.”

 

We’ve considered the virtuous woman’s dedication and diligence.  Thirdly:

 

III.  Consider her Delight (30)

 

For her delight we return to verse 30, that “key verse” I mentioned at the beginning:

 

30 Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing, But a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised.

 

She delights herself in the Lord.  A woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised.  And this fear of the Lord is far more important than anything else, including physical beauty.  The writer reminds us at the beginning of verse 30, “Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing.”  Literally, the Hebrew says, “Beauty is a breath.”  Physical beauty is here for a moment and gone in an instant.

 

It really strikes me, ladies, that nowhere in this entire passage do we ever read of the virtuous woman’s physical beauty—not once!  Forget about what Hollywood says and forget about the poor, anorexic models on the cover of nearly every glamour magazine at the checkout line, physical beauty is not what makes the woman.  A woman who fears the Lord is what makes the woman.  She is to be praised.

 

If we learn just one thing from this woman, may it be that she fears the Lord, that she loves the Lord with all her heart and is continually growing in Him.  If you’ve been out of church for awhile, recall what is your greatest need, loving the Lord your God with all your heart.  So here is our resolution. Write it down:

 

“I resolve to love the Lord with all my heart and to continue growing in Him.”

 

Now let’s say it together:

 

“I resolve to love the Lord with all my heart and to continue growing in Him.”

 

This is our greatest need.  We need to fear the Lord.  We are sinners all of us.  The Bible says in Romans 3:23, “All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.”  And the Bible goes on to say in Romans 6:23 that “the wages of sin is death.”  Our sins deserve to be punished.  Jesus takes the punishment for us.  He dies for our sins so that we can be forgiven.  It is not something that happens automatically.  We must make a personal, conscious decision to trust Jesus as our Lord and Savior, receiving Him personally by faith.  If you resolve to love the Lord with all your heart this morning then come and receive Him in a moment as your personal Lord and Savior.

 

A woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.  By the way, when was the last time you praised your mother?

 

Some of you have mothers who have gone on to be with the Lord.  Take some time today to just thank God for their godly influence upon your life.  And some of you may say, “Well, you didn’t know my mother.  She was far from perfect.”  Well, so are you.  We’re all imperfect people.  Thank God for what you learned from your mother.

 

Others of you, if your mother is still alive, let me ask you to consider again verse 28.  The Bible says “her children rise up and call her blessed.”  When was the last time you praised your mother?  When was the last time you told her how grateful you are for her?  I mean, if you could imagine a tragic scenario for just a moment, consider what you would do: imagine your mother were to die today.  You are going to speak at her funeral in a few days.  Listen: what would you say then that you wished you had said today?  Call her today and tell her.

 

  • Stand for prayer.

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