“Should I Marry or Remain Unmarried?”—Part 1
(1 Corinthians 7:25-40)
Series: Chaos & Correction (1 Corinthians)
Rev. Todd A. Linn, PhD
Henderson’s First Baptist Church, Henderson
•Take your Bibles and join me in 1 Corinthians, chapter 7 (page 770; YouVersion).
When we were together last time we studied verses 17 through 24 and so we’ll be picking up our study at verse 25. (Some of you were unable to be here last time as we had to cancel all but the 8 AM service due to the snow and ice. Remember that you can always catch up by going to the website to obtain freely both audio and written manuscript of every morning sermon).
So last time we noted that Paul was telling the Corinthian Christians that becoming a follower of Christ did not necessarily mean that one needed to suddenly to change everything, especially as it pertained to the external things of one’s marriage, socioeconomic condition, and so on. The context of chapter 7 is, of course, Paul’s teaching on marriage and divorce.
Some of the Corinthians, having recently become Christians, wondered whether they should leave their marriages, especially if their spouses were not believers. And Paul answers with a resounding “No!” He teaches that God’s ideal is for the two who became one is to remain one.
Then in the verses studied last time, verses 17-24, Paul broadened his teaching to address a number of similar circumstances, teaching that each person should, “Be Like Christ Right Where They Are.” And we took away some encouraging truths as a result of our study of that passage. We heard the Word of God address us in our present day through three encouragements. From last time, we learned:
1) Be Encouraged by God’s Placement of Us (17); 2) Be Encouraged by God’s Purpose for Us (18-22); 3) Be Encouraged by God’s Presence with Us (23-24).
Now Paul returns more pointedly to the teaching of marriage as he answers the questions about which the Corinthian congregation wrote him. We see this recurring phrase beginning our text this morning, verse 25, this phrase “Now concerning.” Remember that Paul is answering questions the Corinthian Christians had written down and delivered to him.
So beginning in verse 25 Paul answers questions about those who were not yet married, but were considering marriage. The word translated in verse 25 as, “virgins,” is best translated as a young woman who was betrothed to be married to a man there in the church. And the Corinthians are asking whether these folks should marry or remain unmarried. Of course, these are also questions on the minds of many persons today in our own congregation and so they are timely questions as we consider whether to marry or remain unmarried.
The passage goes from verse 25 to the end of the chapter. It’s a pretty long passage and so we’re studying it in two parts, Part 1 this morning and, Lord willing, Part 2 next Lord’s Day. This morning we’ll study the first half and next week the second half.
•Please stand in honor of the reading of God’s Word.
25 Now concerning virgins: I have no commandment from the Lord; yet I give judgment as one whom the Lord in His mercy has made trustworthy.
26 I suppose therefore that this is good because of the present distress—that it is good for a man to remain as he is:
27 Are you bound to a wife? Do not seek to be loosed. Are you loosed from a wife? Do not seek a wife.
28 But even if you do marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. Nevertheless such will have trouble in the flesh, but I would spare you.
29 But this I say, brethren, the time is short, so that from now on even those who have wives should be as though they had none,
30 those who weep as though they did not weep, those who rejoice as though they did not rejoice, those who buy as though they did not possess,
31 and those who use this world as not misusing it. For the form of this world is passing away.
•Pray.
Introduction:
“To marry or not to marry,” that is the question! It occurred to me as I studied this passage that a number of people may contemplate marriage for reasons related to the phobia mentioned last week in our study, FOMO, F-O-M-O, the “Fear of Missing Out.” Perhaps a number of people marry because “Everyone else is doing it” and we want to be like everyone else and enjoy what it seems that everyone else is enjoying.
But is that a biblical reason for getting married, that it seems like a good thing and everyone is doing it and we don’t want to miss out on what everyone else is doing? Well no, it isn’t. Marriage is not something that we enter into hurriedly, but is something we prayerfully consider because marriage is meant to last a lifetime as the “two become one,” or as we are fond of saying, “One plus one equals one.”
In his book, The Meaning of Marriage, Tim Keller writes about the reality of marriage and how a marriage grows from the initial season of infatuation to a more mature union. Writing to those considering marriage:
Over the years you will go through seasons in which you have to learn to love a person whom you didn’t marry, [a person] who is something of a stranger. You will have to make changes that you don’t want to make, and so will your spouse. The journey may eventually take you into a strong, tender, joyful marriage. But it is not because you married the perfectly compatible person. That person doesn’t exist.
Sobering and straightforward truth that is much needed today when so many young men and women speak only of how they have “fallen in love” with one another but may have not really considered what a lifelong commitment to one another means and, more importantly given our study in chapter 7, they may not have really considered how their marriage may or may not help them to better worship and serve the Lord Jesus Christ.
In today’s passage, there are at least five considerations for those contemplating marriage. Today we’ll look at the first two or three. First:
Marriage Involves Times of Difficulty (25-28)
This teaching comes from verses 25-28, but especially from the last sentence there in verse 28. In the very last part of verse 28, Paul writes, “Nevertheless such will have trouble in the flesh, but I would spare you.”
Paul’s teaching here is that marriage involves times of difficulty. In the New King James it says, “trouble in the flesh.” Other translations have, “worldly troubles” or “many troubles.” Paul is saying that marriage involves times of difficulty and, as he says in the very last words of verse 28, “but I would spare you.” In other words, “I’m trying to spare you of the difficulties you are sure to face if you marry.
Marriage does involve times of difficulty and trouble.
Maybe you heard about the little boy who was sitting on front steps of the house, his face in his hands, looking forlorn and frustrated. His dad had just come home and saw him there and asked him what was wrong. The little boy looked up and said, “Well, just between us, Dad, I’m having trouble getting along with your wife, too!”
Marriage involves times of difficulty. Let’s look more closely at these verses, beginning at verse 25:
25 Now concerning virgins (again, Paul has in mind the ‘betrothed’ young ladies, a woman whom a man has promised to marry): I have no commandment from the Lord; yet I give judgment as one whom the Lord in His mercy has made trustworthy.
Now that statement of Paul’s, “I have no commandment from the Lord” is similar to the verses we had studied a couple weeks ago, verses 10 and following, where Paul says, in essence, “We don’t have Jesus on record teaching specifically about the things you are asking. We’re breaking new ground here.”
Paul may well have said, “This is new ground here, these questions you are asking me about marriage. We have the words of Jesus up to a point and now this is new material—guided and inspired by the same Holy Spirit.” So Paul is guided by the same Holy Spirit as he writes about marriage and the virtues of remaining unmarried. All Scripture is inspired by God.
So what does Paul conclude as he is guided by the Holy Spirit? Verse 26:
26 I suppose therefore that this is good because of the present distress—that it is good for a man to remain as he is:
In other words, Paul is stressing the blessing of remaining single, remaining unmarried. That’s what he means when he says, “It is good for a man to remain as he is.” It is good for a man—and a woman, then—to remain as he (or she) is.
And one of the reasons why Paul recommends remaining unmarried is because, first part of verse 26, “Because of the present distress.” We’re going to unpack that statement more fully in just a moment, when we take a look at verses 29 and following.
In a moment we’ll see that the phrase “the present distress” involves the matter of living in the last days, living with an awareness of eternal things. So we’ll look at that in a moment.
Right now, note that Paul is advocating the state of singleness or remaining unmarried. This is what he means by saying, “It is good for a man to remain as he is.” He continues in verse 27:
27 Are you bound to a wife? Do not seek to be loosed. Are you loosed from a wife? Do not seek a wife.
Paul says, “Remain as you are.” If you are already pledged to be married, don’t seek to break it off but, on the other hand, if you are not pledged to be married, don’t seek a wife. But he is quick to add in verse 28:
28 But even if you do marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. Nevertheless such will have trouble in the flesh, but I would spare you.
So Paul is teaching that remaining unmarried is a good thing. He’ll go on to spell that out more clearly in verse 32 and following where he teaches that single folks are less likely to be distracted by the cares of the world and have more time to serve the Lord.
Now, given that Paul is extolling the benefits of singleness, it is helpful to pause for a moment and review the importance of careful biblical interpretation. Paul is here advocating the benefits of remaining single, or remaining unmarried. At the very least, then, we need to think carefully before we trump the Genesis 1:28 imperative, “Be fruitful and multiply” as a mandate that instructs every person to marry and to have as many children as possible. I’ve heard teaching such as that as though a person who was unmarried or without children was somehow out of step with the will of God.
If the Genesis 1:28 statement to “Be fruitful and multiply” meant that every single person was required to marry and have as many children as possible, then what are we to make of Paul’s statement here in verse 26, “that it is good for a man to remain as he is, to remain single?” Was Paul wrong? Had he not read Genesis 1:28? That, of course, is preposterous.
Of course Paul had read Genesis 1:28 and he understood that the statement to “Be fruitful and multiply,” while given to Adam and Eve was also given in the previous verses to birds and fish (Genesis 1:22). To somehow take from the statement, “Be fruitful and multiply” the idea that God is displeased with us if we do not marry and if we do not have as many children as possible would be to fail to take into account other passages in the Bible. It would be to fail to compare Scripture with Scripture and would be, then, to totally dismiss Paul’s teaching here in the New Testament.
When we study the Bible we must compare Scripture with Scripture, always asking the question, “What does the Bible elsewhere teach about this matter? Where else in the Bible do we read about this?” A very important consideration.
So again Paul extolls the virtues of remaining unmarried, a teaching he will flesh-out more fully in verses 32 and following, but for now note that he does say that while he believes remaining unmarried is the best option, he also says in verse 28, “But even if you do marry, you have not sinned.”
Then Paul adds in verse 28 that statement we read earlier: “Nevertheless such will have trouble in the flesh, but I would spare you.”
Paul is trying to spare unmarried folks from the trouble they are certain to have when they marry. We’ll not spend a lot of time here reviewing all of the challenges couples face in marriage. But, if nothing else, this truth underscores the importance of prayerfully thinking through marriage and the importance of seeking good, solid, and thorough pre-marital counseling.
Most pastors and counselors who provide pre-marital counseling do so because they recognize the importance of teaching clearly that marriage involves times of difficulty. Paul ends verse 28 with, “But I would spare you!” Paul is like, “Trust me: marriage can be difficult!”
I heard about a preacher who was finishing up a series on marriage. At the end of the service he was giving out small wooden crosses to each married couple. He said, “Place this cross in the room in which you fight the most and you will be reminded of God’s commands and you won’t argue as much.” One woman came up after the service and said, “You’d better give me five of those!”
Marriage is wonderful and marriage mirrors the relationship between Christ and His church, but marriage involves times of difficulty. I appreciate Paul’s straightforward teaching here.
Now what Paul teaches next applies to married and unmarried. And what he teaches is, number two:
2) Following Christ Requires Living for Eternity (29-31)
Following Christ requires an awareness and a focus on eternal matters. It raises the question, “How many marriages really focus on eternal things?” Verse 29:
29 But this I say, brethren, the time is short, so that from now on even those who have wives should be as though they had none,
Now before we talk about what that phrase means, we need to ask, “What does Paul mean when he says, ‘the time is short?’” I do not think it means that Paul was teaching that Christ was definitely going to return in his lifetime, as though he had maps and charts and set dates, and so forth.
The phrase, “the time is short,” is however, a reference to the truth of Christ’s return, a truth that requires all Christians in any age to live with an eternal perspective.
In the words of one commentator: “The decisive event of history has already taken place in the ministry, death, resurrection and ascension of Christ, all subsequent history is a kind of epilogue, necessarily in a real sense short, even though it may last a very long time (CEB Cranfield).”
This truth is captured well by the ESV which has, “The appointed time has grown very short,” or the Phillips paraphrase which has, “All our futures are so foreshortened.” The idea is that, there is nothing left in God’s overarching plan and program for humanity, nothing left for Him to do except to come again. The Lord will return. We don’t know exactly when so we should live our lives in light of that truth.
When we consider the wide scope of history, the time period from creation to the second coming, “the appointed time has grown very short,” we await nothing else except the Lord’s return. So married couples should live with a focus on Christ’s return. Unmarried folks should live with a focus on Christ’s return. Single or married, following Christ requires living for eternity.
So Paul says in verse 29, “from now on even those who have wives should be as though they had none.” In other words, married couples should focus not so much on their marriage as on the Lord Jesus Christ.
Let me say that again: married couples should focus not so much on their marriage as they should focus on the Lord Jesus Christ. Married or unmarried, following Christ requires living with an eternal perspective. So Paul continues in verse 30:
30 those who weep (should live) as though they did not weep, those who rejoice as though they did not rejoice, those who buy as though they did not possess,
The idea here is that Christians should not be consumed by the world and it’s temporary concerns. We often weep, rejoice, and purchase things. We weep over sickness, pain, despair, discouragement, and death. We rejoice over parties, celebrations, and recreation. Paul says, “Don’t be consumed by or enmeshed in the temporary concerns of this fallen world.”
Listen to the New Living Translation of verse 30: “Those who weep or who rejoice or who buy things should not be absorbed by their weeping or their joy or their possessions.”
Following Christ requires living for eternity. Paul continues in verse 31:
31 and those who use this world (should live) as not misusing it. For the form of this world is passing away.
Paul says here in verse 31, “Those who use this world (should live) as not misusing it.” I like the ESV here. It reads, “Those who deal with the world (should live) as though they had no dealings with it.”
The idea is, “Don’t become attached to this world.” It is temporary in nature. Paul concludes verse 31 with the reminder that, “the form of this world is passing away.” This world is temporary in nature so don’t focus on the temporary, external, passing pleasures of a fallen world. Focus on the eternal.
And you understand, don’t you, why married folks are far more tempted to get their focus off of the eternal and focus rather on the temporary—because they are so consumed with the things of this world. Marriage requires time, time spent with one another in various pursuits, time spent raising children and time taking them here and there, driving them to sports practice, band practice, art class, dance class, and Paul is simply saying, “Look, if you are married, don’t forget that you are to live primarily for the Lord Jesus Christ.” Husbands and wives—and their children—should live with an “end-time awareness” as they go about their lives.
We must guard against getting so preoccupied with our marriages and our children that we lose sight of the purpose of our very existence, to worship and serve the Lord Jesus Christ. This is why Paul says that “even those who have wives should be as though they had none (verse 29).” He doesn’t mean that husbands are to ignore their wives or fail to provide for them. He simply means that we each of us—husbands and wives—should never forget our priority of living for the Lord Jesus Christ.
We’ll note this truth more fully next time. You can go ahead and write it down now if you wish, number three: 3) Serving the Lord is our Greater Priority (32-35). One of the considerations will see next time is the question we should ask, “If I get married how will this marriage enhance my service for Christ?” But we’ll study that more fully next time.
For now, we conclude with these two truths:
1) Marriage Involves Times of Difficulty (25-28)
2) Following Christ Requires Living for Eternity (29-31)
•Stand for prayer.
“Father, help us live with an “end-time awareness.” Help us live in such a way as to not fall in love with this temporary, fallen, world that is passing away. How easy it is to spend our days thinking only of the world—a job, school, money, opportunity, worldly success, family, marriage. Help us to live with a singular focus upon worship of our Lord and service to Him.”
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