“Should I Marry or Remain Unmarried?”—Part 2
(1 Corinthians 7:25-40)
Series: Chaos & Correction (1 Corinthians)
Rev. Todd A. Linn, PhD
Henderson’s First Baptist Church, Henderson
•Take your Bibles and join me this morning in 1 Corinthians, chapter 7 (page 770; YouVersion).
We are preaching through 1 Corinthians, chapter by chapter, paragraph by paragraph, verse by verse. It’s what we do here, preach through books of the Bible, believing it to be the best way to preach and teach what Paul calls in Acts 20, “The whole counsel of God (Acts 20:7).”
This morning we are in “Part 2” of a two-part message on verses 25-40. This is a section of Scripture where the Apostle Paul instructs Christians on whether they should marry or remain unmarried.
It’s not as though Paul just thought he would write about this subject, just drop a letter to the Church at Corinth. Rather, he is answering specific questions the church had written down and asked him about. We know this because of the phrase he uses at the beginning of chapter 7 there in verse 1, “Now concerning the things of which you wrote to me,” and then he answers the questions about which the church had written him. The phrase occurs a few more times in the letter, such as at verse 25 as we saw last week, verse 5, “Now concerning virgins,” and Paul writes about those unmarried women who were pledged to be married to Corinthian Christian men.
So in this last section of material, verses 25 to the end of chapter 7, Paul is answering questions about whether to marry or remain unmarried. Many Christians in the church there at Corinth were hearing from others that it was best for Christians to not marry or, if they were already married, to get divorced, and so they were asking Paul what to do. And Paul answers.
We introduced this material last time, noting that the passage yields for us a few considerations for those contemplating marriage. Now what God says to the church 2,000 years ago in Corinth applies equally to the church 2,000 years later in Kentucky. And so we’ll study these considerations this morning knowing that what God says then is as important to us now.
So we noted the first two truths last time. The first truth, number one, is that:
Marriage Involves Times of Difficulty (25-28)
In verses 25-28 Paul stresses the challenges that will come to those who marry. He mentions two such challenges, calling the first difficulty in verse 26, “the present distress.” We learned last time that this was most likely a reference to living in the last days. This becomes especially clearer as Paul continues writing. The second challenge to marriage is what Paul calls, at the end of verse 28, “trouble in the flesh,” which is translated as “worldly trouble” or “worldly concerns.” This is Paul’s way of warning that those who decide to marry stand to face a greater number of general troubles and difficulties than those who don’t. And Paul actually says in verse 28 that he would like to spare folks the trouble they will face.
Paul likely meant marital trouble on all levels, as it is often a challenge for two fallen persons to live together.
Maybe you heard about the three men who were discussing the amount of control that they had over their wives. Two of the men were boasting about how much control they had over their wives and the third guy was just sort of quiet. And after awhile one of the other two turns to the third guy and asks, “Well what about you? What sort of control do you have over your wife?” The guy says, “Well I’ll tell you. Just the other night my wife came to me on her hands and knees.” The first two were amazed. They asked, “What happened then?” He said, “She said, ‘Get out from under that bed and fight like a man!’”
So those who marry stand to face a greater number of general troubles and difficulties than those who don’t. And for this reason, Paul says that he believes it is best for folks to remain unmarried. And we talked about that a great deal and we’ll talk about it more this morning, the benefits of remaining single. Nevertheless, Paul is quick to add in verse 28 that even if one does marry that he or she has not sinned.
So Paul’s advice is summed up nicely in verse 27 where he says to Christian men, “If you are already bound to a wife, by no means seek to end the union, but if you are not presently married, then don’t seek a wife.”
So point one, “Marriage involves times of difficulty.” Then we discussed point two:
2) Following Christ Requires Living for Eternity (29-31)
And in verses 29-31 we read Paul’s sober reminder that whether one is married or unmarried he or she should live with an eternal perspective because, as he says in verse 29, “the time is short.”
Ever since Christ rose from the dead and ascended into heaven to the right hand of the Father, ever since that time, we have been living in the “last days.” The next major event awaiting fulfillment in God’s overarching plan is the return of Jesus Christ. So married or not, we should live each and every day as though He would return at any moment.
I don’t think that when Paul wrote “the time is short” that he believed Christ would definitely return in his lifetime, but he wrote that we should expect Christ to return in our lifetime because He very well could. The time is short. Even if we live a hundred years, our time is short and when compared to eternity, our lives are but a blip on the radar. Paul reminds us that “the form of this world is passing away.”
So Paul teaches that all persons, single or married, should live with an eternal perspective. Married couples should focus not so much on their marriage as they should focus on the Lord Jesus Christ. Those who weep or who rejoice or who buy things should not be absorbed by their weeping or their joy or their possessions. Those who deal with the world (should live) as though they had no dealings with it.
So we’ll read the beginning of this passage, those verses we treated last time, verses 25-31, as a refresher or reminder and then we’ll pause for prayer after verse 31 and ask for God’s help as we then pick up our study at verse 32.
•Please stand in honor of the reading of God’s Word.
25 Now concerning virgins: I have no commandment from the Lord; yet I give judgment as one whom the Lord in His mercy has made trustworthy.
26 I suppose therefore that this is good because of the present distress—that it is good for a man to remain as he is:
27 Are you bound to a wife? Do not seek to be loosed. Are you loosed from a wife? Do not seek a wife.
28 But even if you do marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. Nevertheless such will have trouble in the flesh, but I would spare you.
29 But this I say, brethren, the time is short, so that from now on even those who have wives should be as though they had none,
30 those who weep as though they did not weep, those who rejoice as though they did not rejoice, those who buy as though they did not possess,
31 and those who use this world as not misusing it. For the form of this world is passing away.
•Pray.
Well let’s just get right into this study, this morning. We are studying five considerations for those contemplating marriage. So again, number 1, marriage involves times of difficulty. Number 2, following Christ requires living for eternity. Now number three:
3) Serving the Lord is our Greater Priority (32-35)
More important than marriage itself is our serving the Lord. I have mentioned before a Pre-Marital Wedding Covenant that I use for those who ask me to perform their ceremony. I require each couple to sign-off on it. It begins with these words: “The decision to marry is the second most important decision one will ever make in a lifetime. The first is the decision of whether one will personally commit his or her life to Jesus Christ as Savior and Lord.
Serving the Lord is a greater priority than marriage. This is equally true for both singles and marrieds. Serving the Lord is our greater priority.
And here Paul expands upon his previous point. He has just taught that “the time is short” and has just said in verse 31 that “the form of this world is passing away” and so he challenges married and unmarried alike to “live with an eternal perspective,” live as though Christ were coming today. Don’t be entangled by or enmeshed in the things of the world. So verse 32:
32 But I want you to be without care. He who is unmarried cares for the things of the Lord—how he may please the Lord.
33 But he who is married cares about the things of the world—how he may please his wife.
Do you see why Paul thinks it is more advantageous that Christians to remain unmarried? He says in verse 32, “I want you to be without care,” that is, “I want to spare you the common worries, troubles and concerns that just naturally come about in marriage.” He says, an unmarried fella “cares about the things of the Lord—how he may please the Lord,” but, verse 33, “But he who is married cares about—what?—the things of the world, how he may please his wife.”
So the man who is unmarried has more time to “please the Lord” because he’s not busy with concern for “pleasing his wife.” It’s not that it is wrong for a man to be concerned about pleasing his wife-right ladies?! But you see by virtue of one’s being single, he simply has more time to serve the Lord.
You think about men like John Stott, an unmarried man who for decades served the Lord through his writing and speaking ministry. We are on Wednesdays reading through and discussing one of Stott’s greatest contributions, the book, The Cross of Christ. Stott was known to get up in the morning and spend 3 hours in devotional time before God. How could he do that? He was single.
CS Lewis, another man who remained unmarried until in his 60s, gave us more than The Chronicles of Narnia and other great literature but also gave us the classic, Mere Christianity and The Screwtape Letters. He was single.
And what Paul writes of Christian men is true for Christian women. Verse 34:
34 There is a difference between a wife and a virgin (virgin here refers to an unmarried woman pledged to be married). The unmarried woman cares about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit. But she who is married cares about the things of the world—how she may please her husband.
So the same is true for the woman as is true for the man. An unmarried man has a singular focus on caring for the Lord where the married man often finds himself bound up with the cares of the world. Similarly an unmarried woman has a singular focus on caring for the Lord—as Paul puts it here in verse 34, “that she may be holy both in body and in spirit,” but the married woman often finds herself bound up with the cares of the world—namely how she may please here husband.
It just stands to reason, doesn’t it? A single person has more time and energy to devote to the Lord. He or she isn’t busy with family responsibilities and running the children here and there and arbitrating arguments between siblings and making sure the bed is made and the cards and gifts are bought for the spouse and all the other things that come with living together as one. Paul adds in verse 35:
35 And this I say for your own profit, not that I may put a leash on you, but for what is proper, and that you may serve the Lord without distraction.
Paul is saying, “I’m not trying to be a legalist here. I just want you all to think about which works best for you, whichever state allows you to enjoy undivided devotion to the Lord.”
Now let me ask a question. Where churches have a “singles ministry,” is the mission of the singles ministry to recognize the biblical truth and teach the biblical truth that singles are to—verse 34— “be holy in body and in spirit” and to find joy “in caring about the things of the Lord?” Or, where churches have a “singles ministry,” is the focus more so on finding a spouse? You know, “Let’s go bowling and go to the concert and go to the park,” and so forth. I’m merely asking the question.
Furthermore, are we encouraging those who are unmarried to really think long and hard about which state—single or married—this person is best suited to serve the Lord? Because it may differ for each one of us.
Michael Green recommends that persons considering marriage should ask the following question, “Could I be equally useful to the Lord if married, or would it inevitably curtail my usefulness to him?” He adds, “The quantity of time available for Christian involvement may be reduced once we are married, but its quality may be enhanced.” He adds, “(In any case) I have no right to marry unless I have honestly faced the question of the impact marriage will have on my Christian life and service.”
So single persons contemplating marriage should ask, “If I get married how will this marriage enhance my service for Christ? Will it enhance my love and devotion and service for Christ, or will it detract from my love, devotion, and service to the Lord?”
Lottie Moon was one such godly Christian woman who thought that through. Most Baptists know Lottie Moon. She served the Lord for decades as a missionary to China. There was a point early on in her life where she was considering marriage to a professor at Southern Seminary, Crawford Toy was his name. But she learned that Toy was drifting from his theologically conservative views and beginning to lean to the left theologically so she said, “Forget it.” She wasn’t willing to sacrifice her biblical theology on the altar of marriage—and she remained unmarried all her life.
So point 3: Serving the Lord is our greater priority. Number 4:
4) Either State is a Biblical Possibility (36-38)
Paul reinforces what he has said previously, that married or unmarried, both are biblical options. Verse 36:
36 But if any man thinks he is behaving improperly toward his virgin, if she is past the flower of youth, and thus it must be, let him do what he wishes. He does not sin; let them marry.
Now the original Greek of verse 36 has proven notoriously difficult for translators. I think given the context of what Paul has said previously in this chapter (7:2-3, 9), that the ESV is the better translation here. Listen to how it reads:
36 If anyone thinks that he is not behaving properly toward his betrothed, if his passions are strong, and it has to be, let him do as he wishes: let them marry—it is no sin.
In other words, if a man is considering marrying a particular woman and they have pledged themselves to one another but have not yet married—and here they are now thinking about the benefits of remaining unmarried, namely having more time and focus on the Lord—Paul is saying, “If you’re mulling this over but you also know, young man, that your passions are strong and you are ready to marry this woman,” then, says Paul, “by all means go ahead and marry, it is not a sin. Let them marry.” Okay? Verse 37:
37 Nevertheless he who stands steadfast in his heart, having no necessity, but has power over his own will, and has so determined in his heart that he will keep his virgin, does well.
And again, the New King James translation is not especially helpful here. When Paul writes about a man’s “keeping his virgin” the idea is actually “keeping her as she is,” that is, “unmarried.” So what Paul is writing here contrasts with what he has just said before. He has just said in verse 36, “It’s okay to marry if your passions are strong.” Now verse 37, “Nevertheless, he who stands steadfast in his heart, having no necessity,” that is, “not burning with passion” as the fella in the previous situation, this man who “has power over his own will, and has so determined in his heart,” that he will “keep his virgin,” that is, “Keep her as she is—unmarried—“ then this person also “does well.”
Another way of putting verse 37, “If a man has decided firmly not to marry and he is the kind of man who can control his passions and urges, then he also does well by not marrying.”
So Paul concludes the point in verse 38:
38 So then he who gives her in marriage does well, but he who does not give her in marriage does better.
The ESV here, “So then he who marries his betrothed does well, and he who refrains from marriage will do even better.”
It’s not a sin to marry and it’s not a sin to remain single. Yet again, Paul extols the virtues of the single life. He says the person who doesn’t marry “does better.” The blessings of remaining unmarried!
Nevertheless, either state is a biblical possibility. Remember that the important question to ask is, “Will this possible marriage I am considering enhance my love and devotion and service to the Lord or will it detract from my love, devotion, and service to the Lord? Will this possible marriage I am considering help or harm my Christian walk? Is this woman a godly woman? Is this man a godly man?”
So we’re to number 5 now. We have said there are five considerations for those contemplating marriage: 1) Marriage involves times of difficulty, 2) Following Christ requires living for eternity, 3) Serving the Lord is our greater priority, 4) Either state is a biblical possibility, and now number five:
5) Marriage is a Commitment to Fidelity (39-40)
This is to say what we have stressed before: marriage is meant to last a lifetime. The two become one flesh. If marriage were math: one plus one equals one. Verse 39:
39 A wife is bound by law as long as her husband lives;—stop right there for a moment.
A wife is bound by law—bound in marriage—until how long? As long as her husband lives. Marriage is meant to last a lifetime. The two become one. One plus one equals one.
So before we read on let’s just be sure we all understand that this is God’s ideal for marriage. Marriage is a commitment to fidelity, to faithfulness. This is the whole point of having marital vows. It doesn’t take a promise to be there for someone when we are happy. We are promising to be there for our spouse even when we are not so happy. So we pledge our love in “sickness as well as health, richer or poorer, for better or for worse.” That’s a promise. We are saying, “I will love you and stay with you no matter what. I’ll not talk about how ‘the Lord wouldn’t want me to be happy’ and so forth. I am pledging my love to you forever.” Marriage is a commitment to fidelity.
And we have noted before a couple of “permissions” for divorce as I believe given in the Bible, and you’ll just have to review those previous messages but in sum, they concern the matter of when a person abandons a spouse because of that spouse’s belief in Christ, and, the matter of biblical unfaithfulness—sexual immorality—likely a pattern of such behavior that is unreported of.
But do not miss God’s ideal for marriage here. Verse 39, “A wife is bound by law as long as her husband lives.” What God has joined together, let no man separate.
One of the reasons our Church Bylaws has written into them our church’s availability for counsel to hurting marriages is because we wish to take seriously biblical marriage. So under “Article I” of our Bylaws is this paragraph:
Divorce and remarriage is a matter of special concern. Marriage is important to God and thus it is to (Henderson’s) First Baptist Church. Therefore, all church members must be proactive in their efforts to save, strengthen and preserve the God-ordained institution of marriage. The pastor, ministerial staff, Deacon body and other gifted members are available for marital counsel and assistance. Members experiencing marital difficulties are encouraged to seek help as soon as possible with the goal of securing restoration of the marriage. In the event a member seeks to divorce a spouse for reasons not condoned by Scripture, the matter will be referred to the Deacon body as set forth in the opening paragraph of this section.
In other words, the church takes seriously what the Bible teaches about Christian marriage and divorce. If we love one another we will be proactive in helping one another to live in harmony with the Scriptures, not in a judgmental way, but in a loving, godly, helpful way. It’s just what Christians are supposed to do, to really be there for one another. Verse 39 again:
39 A wife is bound by law as long as her husband lives;—now continuing on—but if her husband dies, she is at liberty to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord.
So a person is bound to his or her spouse for a lifetime, but when that person’s spouse dies, he or she is free to remarry. The important qualifier there is the last few words of verse 39, the phase, “only in the Lord.” So who is the Christian free to remarry? Only a person who is “in the Lord.” In other words, Christians are to marry other Christians, those who are “in the Lord.”
If you are thinking about marriage, make sure the person you are considering marrying shares your Christian beliefs.
Warren Wiersbe suggests 5 questions to be answered when considering marriage, questions which sum up Paul’s concerns in this chapter. Here are the five questions:
1) What is my gift from God?
2) Am I marrying a believer?
3) Are the circumstances such that marriage is right?
4) How will marriage affect my service for Christ?
5) Am I prepared to enter into this union for life?”
Verse 40 is no surprise to us as Paul continues to extoll the virtues of remaining single, he writes in verse 40:
40 But she is happier if she remains as she is (that is, unmarried), according to my judgment—and I think I also have the Spirit of God.
And that last phrase, “I think I also have the Spirit of God,” is Paul’s way of saying, “While we don’t anything previously written down in the Scriptures concerning the benefits of remaining single, I believe I am expressing here not just my opinion, but also the will of the Spirit also.” And of course, he is, as “all Scripture is given by inspiration of God.” The written record of Scripture that we now hold in our hands is God’s inspired, authoritative Word.
So will we live in harmony with the Word of God? Do you have all five of these considerations?
**Five considerations for those contemplating marriage:
1) Marriage Involves Times of Difficulty (25-28)
2) Following Christ Requires Living for Eternity (29-31)
3) Serving the Lord is our Greater Priority (32-35)
4) Either State is a Biblical Possibility (36-38)
5) Marriage is a Commitment to Fidelity (39-40)
•Stand for prayer.
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