“Hope for Today’s Woman”
(1 Peter 3:1-7)
Mother’s Day
Rev. Todd A. Linn, PhD
First Baptist Church Henderson, KY
(5-13-07) (AM)
- Take God’s Word and open to 1 Peter, chapter 3.
If you are visiting with us we take very seriously the word of God here at First Baptist. Our purpose statement is shaped by “Bible-centered preaching, reaching, and teaching in the name of Jesus Christ.” Bible-centered preaching means that we do more than just read a verse or two and then close our Bibles and talk about this or that. The Bible stays open before us as we read a passage of Scripture and listen to the voice of God in the Bible as we study the passage together in expository method, usually a verse-by-verse study. We believe true life-changing power comes from the word of God.
It is Mother’s Day and in His providence the Lord has led me to a few verses at the beginning of chapter 3 in Peter’s first letter. The Gospels present Peter as something of the leader of the disciples. Those of you who were here last Sunday will remember we read last week about the exchange between Peter and our Lord Jesus as Jesus paused before Peter to wash his feet. We saw Peter then as he is usually portrayed; something of a man who often speaks before thinking, a bit impulsive, a man who seems to act first and ask questions later. But when we encounter Peter later through his letters we read a man who is very different. Peter is a man who has been powerfully and wonderfully changed by the Gospel. The death, burial, and resurrection of Jesus Christ have transformed Peter into a man who is now used of God to bless us through his inspired and inerrant letters.
- Please stand in honor of the reading of God’s Word.
1 Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives,
2 when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear.
3 Do not let your adornment be merely outward — arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel —
4 rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God.
5 For in this manner, in former times, the holy women who trusted in God also adorned themselves, being submissive to their own husbands,
6 as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, whose daughters you are if you do good and are not afraid with any terror.
7 Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered.
- Pray.
Introduction:
Recently I read about a young associate pastor who was called upon to read a passage from the Bible on Mother’s Day. He was instructed to read from 2 Timothy 1, which is the famous text often used on Mother’s Day. It’s that passage where Paul says to Timothy, “I remember the genuine faith that is in you, which dwelt first in your grandmother Lois and your mother Eunice, and I am persuaded is in you also.”
But the young pastor, rather than opening to 2 Timothy, chapter 1, accidentally opened to 1 Timothy, chapter 1. To make matters worse, he prefaced his reading with the statement, “I would like to dedicate today’s reading to all the wonderful mothers in our congregation.” Then he read the words:
“Some of you have strayed from the faith and have turned aside to meaningless talk, desiring to be teachers of the law, but you don’t even understand what you’re talking about.”
I don’t know how that pastor corrected his mistake, but you can be sure he had everyone’s attention! In a similar way, perhaps when we read this passage in 1 Peter a moment ago there was a bit of tension in the air as Peter begins chapter 3 with a phrase that seems to many so out-of-sync with the 21st century. He says, “Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands.”
It’s hard for many to hear that phrase because of what they think it means. Our culture today influences our hearing of a phrase like that and causes many to immediately sit-up with arms raised, fists ready to defend and punch and jab. But if we’ll be careful to read our Bibles correctly and patiently “rightly divide the word of truth,” we will see that a passage such as this is a very encouraging, loving, and hope-filled passage of Scripture for our benefit.
I want to share with you “Hope for Today’s Woman” from this passage as Peter gives instruction to all of us in this passage. So there is teaching here for every single one of us studying this passage, whether we’re women, men, young girls, boys, divorced, remarried, unmarried, soon-to-be-married, Christian, or non-Christian. Let’s learn what Peter teaches. First Peter teaches what we need to know about:
I. A Woman’s Behavior [1-2]
1 Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives,
2 when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear.
The New Testament teaches clearly and consistently that the man in the marriage is entrusted with the serious role of leader in the home. He is the leader. Every country has a leader. Every team has a leader. Every marriage has a leader.
But the Bible is also resoundingly clear that the man and the woman are co-equal before God in terms of their nature. Neither one is more important than the other. The man and woman are equal in their essence or nature. This is the point behind the passage in Galatians 3:28 where Paul writes, “There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is neither male nor female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus.” There is equality in our natures. No one is more important than the other.
Having said that, the Bible makes clear that while there is equality in nature between man and woman, there are different roles for both man and woman. They are one in essence, but they have different functions in the marriage. In a similar way God is one, but there are different roles or functions within the persons of the Trinity. God is one who makes Himself known to us in three ways: Father, Son, and Spirit. The persons of the Trinity are co-equal in terms of their essence and nature. This is why Jesus could say, for example, in John 10:30, “I and My Father are one.” But there are different roles within the Godhead, or the Trinity. The Father sends the Son, the Son submits to the Father, the Holy Spirit witnesses to the Son. There is a difference in the functionality of the persons of the Trinity.
So husbands and wives are co-equal before God. Neither is more important than the other. But they have different roles or functions in the marriage. The husband is assigned the role of loving leader in the home and the wife is assigned the task of gracefully submitting to his leadership. Practiced rightly, the woman is liberated and freed from things she may worry about—such as finances—and she entrusts them to her husband so that he may worry about them.
Paul teaches what true submission looks like in Ephesians 5. Let me read to you Ephesians 5:24-25, “Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be subject to their own husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself for her.”
The husband’s role as leader is to love his wife with the same kind of love Christ had for the church, a love that was ultimately expressed in Christ’s death for His bride. That’s the kind of loving leadership a husband is to have for his wife. Now more about husbands in a moment, for now look again at a woman’s behavior:
1 Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives,
2 when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear.
I am often asked by women whose husbands are not believers, “What am I supposed to do when my husband doesn’t share my Christian faith?” Well, that was the same question some had apparently asked of Peter. And here’s the answer in verse one: live before them in such a way that they may be won over not by your words, but by your actions. That is the meaning of this phrase, “if some do not obey the word,” that is, the Gospel, “they, without a word,” that is, without your even speaking, “may be won” How? “by the conduct of their wives,” by their behavior, “when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear.”
Peter has been writing about this whole idea of influence before an unbelieving world as early as chapter 2 and verse 11. He says, in essence, “Live your lives before unbelievers that they may be won over by your actions, whether the unbelieving leaders are governmental leaders, leaders at work, or leaders in the marriage.” And the key to winning unbelieving husbands to the Lord is not to win them by your words, but to win them by your actions.
I know I have shared before the story that always comes to mind when I read these verses. I was teaching a young couple’s Sunday school class years ago and there was one young lady who came to church and Sunday school without her husband. She came and she would ask everyone to pray for her husband so that he would come. But often when we would talk about this or that in the Sunday school class she would then speak in negative ways about her husband, “Well, he doesn’t do this or he doesn’t do that. And I’ve told him this and I’ve told him that.” And it became very clear to me over time why that husband stayed home on Sundays! An hour or two of golden silence was his oasis in the wilderness. She was not winning him with her words.
So Peter says, “If you want to win your husband to Christ, rather than lecturing him, live a godly life before him, a godly life characterized by loving and graceful respect for him, demonstrated by your following his leadership.” A woman’s behavior. Secondly:
II. A Woman’s Beauty [3-4]
3 Do not let your adornment be merely outward — arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel —
4 rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God.
Now what does this mean? Well, hopefully while I was reading these verses, no ladies were nervously removing their golden necklaces and bracelets and quietly slipping them into their purses! Peter is not saying it is wrong for women to fix up their hair, or wear gold, or wear fine clothing. What Peter is talking about here is a comparison of values. That’s why the addition of the word “merely” helps the English translation. Peter says, “Do not let your adornment be merely outward.” That is, “Far more important than how you look on the outside is who you are on the inside.” It’s a comparison of the external to the internal. Both are fine, but it is the internal beauty that is far more important.
So Peter says, “Let your adornment, your beauty, be the hidden person of the heart.” That’s who you are on the inside. That’s your love for the Lord Jesus Christ that emanates and radiates from within. That internal beauty is far more important than your outward beauty.
And note that Peter refers to this beauty as “incorruptible.” It may be better translated as “imperishable.” I like that! My outward beauty, my external beauty, is fading. It is perishable. My hair never really started falling out, it just stopped growing in a lot of places! Our external beauty is fading. Someone said, “Once you reach the age of 40 you have one of two options. Either exercise regularly—or take down the full length mirror in the bathroom!” Seriously, I find it does my soul better in the morning when I am shaving if I will leave my shirt on.
My outward, external beauty is fading. It is perishable. And so is yours, ladies. Oh, you may be able to buy a little time here or there. There is no end to the products you can buy that will slow the process down. And, in general, there is nothing wrong with those things. But remember the point is that internal beauty is to be valued more highly than external beauty.
Peter says let your beauty be the “hidden person of the heart, the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God.”
And remember the context! Peter is advising women on how they can attract their mate not to themselves, but to Jesus Christ. That’s the context. Wives win their husbands to the Lord by their gracious submission to their husband’s leadership, not by shaming them into Christianity through words, but rather, without even speaking, they attract their husbands to Jesus by their glorious, inward beauty, a beauty very precious in the sight of God.
That’s the meaning of “a gentle and quiet spirit.” It doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you if you’re a talker or you have a dominant personality. That is not what that means! And right now scores of women are inwardly praising God. It simply means that you attract your husband to Jesus Christ not by your words, but by your actions. Your inward beauty is precious in the sight of God and so will be precious in the sight of your husband.
I can’t think of anything more applicable to women today than this teaching here by Peter. Women are under a tremendous amount of pressure to look like the shapely models on the cover of nearly every magazine. The implication is that there is something wrong with you unless you look this thin or have this face or this hair and so forth. But Peter reminds us that external beauty is secondary to inward beauty. There is nothing more beautiful to a real man than the inward beauty of godly, Christian woman. A woman’s behavior, a woman’s beauty. Thirdly, Peter teaches us about:
III. A Woman’s Blessing [5-7]
Peter now provides two blessings for today’s woman. The first blessing to a woman is the blessing of:
(1) A Godly Heritage (5-6)
Here Peter reinforces his teaching about behavior and beauty as illustrated in the Scriptures.
5 For in this manner, in former times, the holy women who trusted in God also adorned themselves, being submissive to their own husbands,
Peter refers to holy women of the Bible who hoped in God, trusted in God, believed in God. He says that they adorned themselves with inward beauty and were submissive to their own husbands. And Peter illustrates by pointing-up Sarah as one example.
6 as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, whose daughters you are if you do good and are not afraid with any terror.
Sarah obeyed Abraham and even, “calling him lord.” Right now, all of the men are sitting up straight and saying to themselves, “Hey, I like this!” Well, what does this mean? The husband comes home from work and his wife bows before him and says, “Welcome home, Master, and Lord of the universe!” No. It’s “lord” with a little “l” but is a term of endearment used by Sarah in reference to her husband. You can check the reference later, Genesis 18:12. Sarah does not call Abraham lord. It is not a statement she makes out loud. It is a statement made to herself. It’s that part in the Bible where Abraham is told that Sarah will soon bear a child and Sarah laughs to herself and says, “Will I have this pleasure given the fact that I am old and my lord is old, too?!” It was a way of referring to her husband in a loving way. Will I have this pleasure seeing I am old and my loving husband, my lord, my main squeeze, is old, too?
So Peter says you will be counted as a privileged daughter of Sarah if you will think of your husband the way Sarah thought of hers. You will inherit the blessing of a godly heritage, becoming a daughter of Sarah herself!
But Peter adds the qualifier, “If you do good and are not afraid with any terror.” I really think what Peter is talking about there is the fear of repercussions or fallout for being considered a daughter of Sarah. It’s the idea of being ashamed of being a woman like Sarah, a woman who lovingly follows her husband’s leadership. You see how timely this teaching is? Women today may be tempted to fear what others think when they sit around having coffee together. A woman says, “I love my husband. I submit graciously to his leadership. His my lover, my lord.”
Peter teaches about a woman’s blessing. How can women today be blessed? By being blessed with a godly heritage. Secondly, she is blessed with:
(2) A Godly Husband (7)
Now here is the jam-packed verse of teaching for the husband, condensed into one verse:
7 Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered.
Husbands, “likewise.” It’s the same word used in reference to the wives back in verse 1. Likewise. That is, in similar fashion. So just as the wife demonstrates her love for her husband by certain actions, so, likewise, the husband will demonstrate love for his wife by certain actions.
Godly husbands dwell with their wives “with understanding.” That is, being considerate. Being considerate of who she is and what she does. She works hard. Be considerate.
“Giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel.” Honor her. Honor her. Live in such a way that she feels she is on a pedestal. Live in such a way, men, that she knows that second only to Jesus Christ is your love for her. Honor her.
Honor her as “the weaker vessel” or as, “the weaker partner.” I would encourage you to take your pen or your pencil at this point and circle two letters in that word “weaker.” Let me encourage you to circle the letters at the end: “er.” That is a reminder to the husband that he, too, is weak. We are all weak in the sense that though created by God we will never be as strong as God and we live in a Post-Eden world, a fallen world, a world infected by the plague of sin. We are both weak.
So why is the woman described as weaker? Most commentators acknowledge the obvious fact of physiology. As a general rule, women are not as physically strong as men. I think that’s pretty evident and pretty well established. Oh, there may be an exception here and there, such as the girl who humiliated me in the 7th grade by beating me in arm-wrestling! But most reasonable people will allow for the obvious fact that women are not as physically strong as men.
But it may be that Peter has something else in mind, too. Given the context, is it possible that he is referring to the woman’s graciously submitting to her husband as something that makes her vulnerable? She is “putting herself out there,” so to speak. She is graciously submitting, husbands, to your headship so honor her as the weaker vessel.
And treat your wife “as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered.”
I love the way that last phrase focuses on the togetherness of marriage. A husband and wife are to be “heirs together of the grace of life.” The Bible makes clear that marriage should be only between two believers. A husband and wife are heirs together of the grace of life. They live together for the Lord Jesus Christ.
Both husband and wife should love the Lord Jesus first and then one another second. Husbands, wives, rather than saying to your mate, “I love you more than anything,” you should say, “I love you second only to the Lord Jesus Christ.” When we rightly love our Lord with all our heart, soul, mind, and strength, we’ll then love our spouses as we should.
If husbands do not love and honor their wives this way, Peter warns that husbands’ prayers are hindered. Peter is teaching that there is a close correlation between a husband’s prayer life and his marital life. It also suggests that if a husband is not living as he should, his entire family is affected. He may pray, but his prayer life will not be as effective because he is not honoring his wife like he should.
Conclusion:
Well there you have it. I think we’ve covered this passage of Scripture in enough detail to give every family plenty to sort through and discuss this afternoon! Let’s stand for prayer.
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